Well, I edited all of my 2012 posts to sort of match with what I changed my blog to look like. I chose the darker look, because it hurts my eyes a lot less when I have to deal with darker colors with white or light gray as a foreground or text. I know it's not the same for everyone...But yeah.
Deep breath. Here goes nothing. Tomorrow starts another go at the SKG, which I'm predicting is going to fall apart this coming weekend - The Global Game Jam is like a second christmas to me. I'm going to do everything I can to resist the food they bring in unless I'm honestly going to faint - which will probably happen. Let's be honest here. Hypoglycemia doesn't mix well with refusing to eat for an entire weekend...I remember what happened at Youmacon.
T'wasn't good, let me tell you. I woke up Sunday in my ex-boyfriend's bed (he felt bad for me trying to curl up on his couch. It's comfy...for sitting. Laying, not so much.), basically unable to move because I was so weak. Despite the eight hours of sleep I'd gotten, I ended up forcing myself to eat cheese and some crackers, and I passed out right away. I hate that my family gave me blood sugar problems. I can deal with the weakness, but the sheer pain I feel when I go more than one day without eating is awful. Even painkillers won't help with it - I've tried everything from tylenol, to apsirin, to vicodin, to tylenol-3 with codeine, and none of it works.
Sigh...I'm sure my system will get used to it. It'll all be worth it when we're on the beach in silver bikinis, and for once I'm the one they're all looking at.
Not you, Vy. Me. For the first time since we met, I'll be the one getting the attention.
Edit: What have I done so far tonight?
100 cheater-pushups (my chest isn't strong enough yet for real ones...hurts like an unnecessary bitch.)
400 crunches
20 leg lunges (10 on each leg...And my god, they can not take that yet. I'm gonna stay at nice low numbers for a while.)
10 minutes of random stretching.
It's time for bed now...I hope I'm sore tomorrow. Last time...I didn't get sore...And I got worried that I didn't do any of it right.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I thought we'd escape...
Hi everyone. So, my whole backwards 2468 thing worked out well enough. But I'm just so afraid of falling off of it. I'm going to stick to this, starting tomorrow, Monday, January 22. And I'll keep following it until I reach my goal weight. Soon as I'm done typing this, I'm going to continue my nightly workout routine until I go to bed, whether that's at 1am or whatever. I won't go outside, though...It's scary and dark out there. Very cold and icy, too.
Did I ever tell you, I'm afraid of the dark? It puts me in an odd predicament, since I don't much like the light, either.
Either way. I'm going to start this up tomorrow. Starting on Day 1: 400 kcal. I can totally do this. With this, and my cardio, and my crunches and push ups (I want everything smaller...including the boobs. Back problems galore, fat or not.)
And...Here's something to listen to, if this post bored you. I love this song.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Popcorn~
Today. Is. Awesome. Today I started doing a reverse of the 2468 diet, starting at 800 calories. Tomorrow will be 600, Wednesday will be 400, and Thursday will be 200, and Friday I'll fast before indulging in a lovely 300 on Saturday.
So, you wanna hear how my day went? I woke up and nibbled on two frozen waffles after toasting them and putting nothing on them. That was 130 calories. I was still a little peckish, even after taking my new acai diet pills (Love you mommy~ Thanks for the drugs! No, seriously, thanks!), so I nibbled on half a serving of pretzels to stave off the dizziness they bring me. That brought me up to 210, total.
My ex-boyfriend came over, so we played video games for a while and smoked hookah while watching random Tim Burton films - so of course I didn't eat while he was around. I hate eating around people, which rocks. He was a boost to my self esteem, too - while he was here, I ended up getting random cuddles. Yay <3. While he was over, all I had was an Arizona iced tea with lemon, which was 270 by itself. That's only 480, which leaves me with 320 left before I finish for the day!
I just got done popping some popcorn, which will be105 70 calories for the entire bag. My goodness. I still have 215 240 calories for the evening, and it's getting late. Eee~ I'm so proud of myself today. Tomorrow might be a little harder, but maybe if I eat the same thing as today, but without the Arizona iced tea (I'm out of them, I pawned my Arnold Palmer off on my ex when he came over. They're...Sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.), and maybe replace it with a bowl of cereal, I'll be a little below the 600. I don't know yet, I'm going to plan out my meals for the rest of the week.
EDIT: I measured out the popcorn that actually popped. There's only two cups, instead of three like the box says there should be...Which means I've got 240 calories left today. 35 more than I thought. Eeee~
So far I'm thinking I might not even have to purge this week. Awesome, because I haaate purging~
So, you wanna hear how my day went? I woke up and nibbled on two frozen waffles after toasting them and putting nothing on them. That was 130 calories. I was still a little peckish, even after taking my new acai diet pills (Love you mommy~ Thanks for the drugs! No, seriously, thanks!), so I nibbled on half a serving of pretzels to stave off the dizziness they bring me. That brought me up to 210, total.
My ex-boyfriend came over, so we played video games for a while and smoked hookah while watching random Tim Burton films - so of course I didn't eat while he was around. I hate eating around people, which rocks. He was a boost to my self esteem, too - while he was here, I ended up getting random cuddles. Yay <3. While he was over, all I had was an Arizona iced tea with lemon, which was 270 by itself. That's only 480, which leaves me with 320 left before I finish for the day!
I just got done popping some popcorn, which will be
EDIT: I measured out the popcorn that actually popped. There's only two cups, instead of three like the box says there should be...Which means I've got 240 calories left today. 35 more than I thought. Eeee~
So far I'm thinking I might not even have to purge this week. Awesome, because I haaate purging~
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Ugh...My stomach feels odd...
I'm trying to get used to the feeling of hunger again. It's so weird, it feels almost like it's crying at me. I know, though. I know.
"My stomach isn't growling, it's applauding."
Maybe it's just too excited right now, and that's why it hurts.I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed...I'm not feeling well.
Today's limit: 1200 kcal. (1100 eaten)
Tomorrow's limit: 1000 kcal.
I'm going to slowly decrease, little by little... When I get used to about 600 kcal a day, I'll do the Skinny Girl Diet again. And follow all the way through. I can do this.
"My stomach isn't growling, it's applauding."
Maybe it's just too excited right now, and that's why it hurts.I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed...I'm not feeling well.
Today's limit: 1200 kcal. (1100 eaten)
Tomorrow's limit: 1000 kcal.
I'm going to slowly decrease, little by little... When I get used to about 600 kcal a day, I'll do the Skinny Girl Diet again. And follow all the way through. I can do this.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I'm so sore.
I really am just so. Sore. My neck and my shoulders and my back particularly. At least my legs aren't sore. I'm going to have to make sure that my back recovers tonight so I can do more crunches tomorrow in the morning when I wake up.
I think, tomorrow, I'm going to do some digital art and a lot of crunches, if Nyxxie doesn't need her tablet. If I do, I'll be live-streaming it, so here's the link ahead of time: Venna's Art
I set it up so it'll load in another window, in case you weren't done looking at things here.
For tonight, I think I'll do a bunch of stretches before bed - A dancer once told me that it helps you become more flexible if you stretch before bed as opposed to the first thing in the morning. I want to do a split this year. It sounds fun, doesn't it?
Anyway. Here's some pretty music to lull me to sleep.
I think, tomorrow, I'm going to do some digital art and a lot of crunches, if Nyxxie doesn't need her tablet. If I do, I'll be live-streaming it, so here's the link ahead of time: Venna's Art
I set it up so it'll load in another window, in case you weren't done looking at things here.
For tonight, I think I'll do a bunch of stretches before bed - A dancer once told me that it helps you become more flexible if you stretch before bed as opposed to the first thing in the morning. I want to do a split this year. It sounds fun, doesn't it?
Anyway. Here's some pretty music to lull me to sleep.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy New Year.
Happy new year, everyone. I'm going to bore you with some resolutions I should have posted yesterday, but to be honest...I was just having way too much fun to worry about ANYTHING yesterday, despite waking up in the early morning in a full panic attack and realizing my xanax was in a purse that I didn't have with me on new year's eve. Good people, the smartest and sweetest dog I've ever met in my life, and God of War 3. But mostly, the doggy. So friendly, so cute, so sweet, and so bloody smart, what more does someone need? ..Oh yeah. Resolutions. Right.
1. Lose 50-70 pounds. That means the goal weight is 117-97 pounds. I'm more excited for the 97.
2. Meditate twice daily.
3. Sew one item per week.
4. Conquer irrational fear of the dark.
5. Become much more flexible.
6. Wean myself down to 200 kcal per day.
7. Wear a bikini in the summer.
8. Save up $100.
9. Retain my sleep schedule of 7 hours per night, usually from 11pm to 6am.
10. Get a workout partner. -Completed
11. Post. In. This. Blog.
Similar goals:
1. Pierce my ear three more times on each side - two lobe and one cartilage and count an industrial as one.
2. Pierce my right eyebrow.
3. Improve my anatomy sketches.
4. Sing more.
It's a lot of them. It really is. I'm really interested in R1, R2, R4, R5, R7, and all four goals.
Well, what are some of yours? Comment below and let me know, I'm interested in hearing about them.
1. Lose 50-70 pounds. That means the goal weight is 117-97 pounds. I'm more excited for the 97.
2. Meditate twice daily.
3. Sew one item per week.
4. Conquer irrational fear of the dark.
5. Become much more flexible.
6. Wean myself down to 200 kcal per day.
7. Wear a bikini in the summer.
8. Save up $100.
9. Retain my sleep schedule of 7 hours per night, usually from 11pm to 6am.
11. Post. In. This. Blog.
Similar goals:
1. Pierce my ear three more times on each side - two lobe and one cartilage and count an industrial as one.
2. Pierce my right eyebrow.
3. Improve my anatomy sketches.
4. Sing more.
It's a lot of them. It really is. I'm really interested in R1, R2, R4, R5, R7, and all four goals.
Well, what are some of yours? Comment below and let me know, I'm interested in hearing about them.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Illness.
I don't know what it is. It's as though my body is rebelling against forced recovery. Which is awesome and all that - but I'd really rather be getting somewhere instead of sick.
After doing some research, however,I'm worried about my gall bladder. Apparently I have most of the signs of it being kind of seriously infected, minus serious stomach cramps...Which means doctors again. You know, I completely forgot that that think even existed, and now I'm finding out that it might be the source of my discomfort.
To elaborate: No matter what I eat, whether it's as simple as a salad, or an actual meal with lean meat, a vegetable and the tiniest bit of bread. Even if I eat a slice of apple, I immediately feel ill. Nauseous, with unexplained pain between my shoulderblades...Dizzy, headached, among many other things. I hope to god I'm just being a hypochrondiac, and there's nothing really wrong with that.
However...
Current Stats:
Weight: 157lb
Height: 5'4"
Waist: 34"
Hips: 40"
Pants size: 10 (What?)
Ugh. Why can't my inability to eat properly be helping me?
After doing some research, however,I'm worried about my gall bladder. Apparently I have most of the signs of it being kind of seriously infected, minus serious stomach cramps...Which means doctors again. You know, I completely forgot that that think even existed, and now I'm finding out that it might be the source of my discomfort.
To elaborate: No matter what I eat, whether it's as simple as a salad, or an actual meal with lean meat, a vegetable and the tiniest bit of bread. Even if I eat a slice of apple, I immediately feel ill. Nauseous, with unexplained pain between my shoulderblades...Dizzy, headached, among many other things. I hope to god I'm just being a hypochrondiac, and there's nothing really wrong with that.
However...
Current Stats:
Weight: 157lb
Height: 5'4"
Waist: 34"
Hips: 40"
Pants size: 10 (What?)
Ugh. Why can't my inability to eat properly be helping me?
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