Going out solves everything.

So what's the first thing I wake up to? Why, my boyfriend cancelling on me for the event I was going with him to today. I still went, but I didn't get the joy of seeing him, or seeing him wig out over the little things that I love to watch him wig out over. (Which is a lot of things.)

So after about an hour and a half of off and on crying, I put my makeup on, telling myself, "Once the mascara hits the eyelashes, no more damn waterworks!" Like magic, it all stopped, and I was just kinda...blah...instead of weepy and distraught. Like I'd taken Xanax or something. (Which I hadn't.)

Anyway. The evening went off nicely. The director even presented me with an award - AND HE GOT MY NAME RIGHT! That alone was enough to make the whole night worth dealing with five inch heels and looking at my friend Barbara (Who is so beautiful it hurts my pride every time I look at her).


I had no money in my pocket, which as a rule means no food. To drink this evening, I enjoyed two glasses of ice water that was oddly tasty, and some stolen nibbles from my neighbor's finished plate. (See, I'm weird. I like to nibble at leftovers, it FEELS like I'm eating a lot, when there's barely anything there, because I take such tiny bites that it takes me twice as long to eat.) I totaled it all out to be...


Drumroll...


527 calories!

(: And this is before running around like mad in the arcade part, in five inch heels, trying to keep up with someone that didn't understand I was wearing heels and am not adept in walking in them. And all the games I failed at. And crunches at home, and more walking. Aaahhh, I feel good!

Tomorrow, the max amount for me is 700 according to the SGD. I'm almost two full weeks in, and not noticing a whole lot of improvement...I need a better plan. I stole a workout plan from another blog I was reading, and am going to begin implementing that as soon as humanly possible.


God, how could I slip this far? Apparently for me, this is what recovery looks like. Never. Again. Pics tomorrow afternoon~ (If I remember x.x)

Shine on~

Edit: I think I found the source of my back/leg problems, too much weight on them. Think they can handle some early morning runs?

Giving serious thought to going to bed no later than 9pm anymore to wake up at 5, drink a cup of hot green tea, go for a run, and have "breakfast". The quotes are there because it'll likely be a chopped up quarter of an apple and a handful of raw oats. (They taste better raw for some reason. I can't explain it.)

Also, good news. We couldn't afford groceries, and neither can a friend of mine. So, all my junk food is finding it's way into her house so she'll have something to eat - It's fine if I starve, I'm trying to, but she doesn't need to suffer too. She's already gorgeous. <3

Yay, yatta!

In light of my past couple days of failure, I did so much better today and yesterday.

I lost the list of what I ate yesterday (My notebook can rarely go to school with me. People I talk with are getting suspicious of how I write every time I nibble on something. Those questions aren't welcome!) I do remember the end count, though - 359 total!! That's almost 100 under the total for that day, which was 450. Not bad, not bad~

Today, there were 3 small pieces of chicken, all dark meat. (I've stopped with the white meat only thing, after figuring out that dark meat was lower in calories.
Total was 208.32 exactly, and I do believe I'm done for the evening.


...Well, there was also a slice of toast with a small bit of peanut butter on it. Ouch...So it looks like my total is 413.32.  That's not too bad, at least. It's under 450! :D

Unless my sugar drops through the floor again, I don't plan on eating again 'til tomorrow. And tomorrow, I'm going out, so I won't have time to get all 650 calories in. Woooh~

Oh, and also, there will be pictures soon. Of my non-tiny belly.

Failure.

My last two days were complete and utter fails.

Yesterday, Tuesday, a friend came and took my Nyxxie and me to dinner. I was sabotaged and made to order a meal that had no hope of being under 500 calories and just eating 3/5 of it. Guh.

Today...Today is completely my fault and the fault of my weak will.

No matter! I'm getting my ass back on track! 500 calories or less tomorrow, Thursday, day 11. If I eat more, it's razor blades on my ribs. No. More. Fuckups.