Honestly, I'm slowly getting there. Slowly being the key word. My first goal date is in 11 days and I'm frozen 13lb above my second goal weight. However, I learned a few very valuable somethings in the past two weeks.
1- I want to eat less if I'm chewing on something. I learned this while chewing on a piece of a honeycomb to ease my throat (there was a tiny bit of local honey surrounding it, and it was followed by hot tea). While I chewed on the waxy honeycomb, my desire to eat just went *poof*. It was an interesting texture that kept my mouth and my mind occupied, and it had no flavour! Imagine that! I swallowed a piece of it, too, and it felt very unpleasant going down. Scratchy, even. Perhaps this weekend I'll buy myself a honeycomb each three days and chew on the honeycomb part during my "danger time", when I'm tempted to go and eat ... Well, anything that isn't soup or a delicious 0 calorie dill pickle. They're cheap, too! 50 cents for one, and I could chew on it for quite a while!
2 - Whenever my dad asks me, "What's for dinner?" I start thinking about food. I'm getting sick of it. Why don't you figure it out for yourself for once? I'm going to have SOUP. If not soup, then BROTH. I don't want to eat burger. I don't want to eat steak. I don't want to eat either one of those slathered in cream of mushroom soup with a tonne of noodles under them. Just shut up, and figure out your own dinner. I don't like to waste food by throwing it out, especially with us being in such a bind financially...But if I have to, I will! Even though it's venison, which I've learned has a LOT fewer calories than beef does, and virtually no fat because deer are constantly on the move (I could take some lessons from them), but it's still a lot of calories. And with the way my dad fixes it? Forget about it. It's a diet killer.
3 - I don't even look good in a corset anymore. Not even a nicely boned one. Which means, that I have to wear them more often UNDER my clothes, and use it as a tool to just restrict my eating habits. Waist training, here I come! I've got corset patterns. I've got extra material. I've got a sewing machine, and I've got hangers for boning. Good, hard-to-bend hangers. I've got grommets, too, and all that is missing is a busk!
4 - I'm not the only one that works in my area (the Faeries) that wants to lose weight...But she's so much prettier than I am already, lighter than me, thinner than me, and she carries herself much better than I do. In an effort to be more like her, I've stopped showing virtually any skin at all - skirts with very, very tight skin-toned tights under them and long socks to cover it up, long sleeves, even scarves to hide that disgusting look my neck and chin has. My hair is always down to hide my face. I figure this way...
This way when I finally reach my goal weight - 100lb even - and I finally take off the long sleeves, wear a pair of very well fitted pants, and tie my hair back, everyone will be stunned.
Five minutes after I post this and work up my courage (I don't know why it scares me), I'm going to chug 32oz of sea-salt water, fire up one of my hand-held video games and wait for the results. After they come, the rest of my food for the day will either be two pieces of fresh-baked bread, or four saltines. It depends on how I feel...I might add half a lemon to suck on a little bit. Those keep me occupied for quite a long time - both mouth and stomach.
Shine on,
Panda
Dear god...I'm nervous for some reason.
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